Should one feel guilty about their hobby? I find myself in a quandary and have to ask what is right and what is wrong? Am I right? Am I wrong? I just sold a few items, simply to generate free cash to buy stuff I have been wanting. I didn't want to use our income as I would prefer that to pay for other bills, savings, food, etc....yet, my wife feels I am sneaking about selling stuff and avoiding telling her. Maybe to a point I am, I try not to ask for much but what I feel is reasonable. Yet, I feel often when I sell something that my wife that I love so much, has different ideas on how it should be spent. I would also add, that I do let my wife handle the household fiances as I well suck at being responsible with money, that has always been her strong suit and I respect strengths of one another in a marriage. I also never once argue if she wants to spend money on something and support anything she wants to do. Life is short, so I won't deny anyone a moment of appreciation.
So, I am selling my hobby stuff. Plunder I had gathered before I was married. I look online and I see people blowing tons of cash on their hobby stuff in Kickstarters, blogs filled with cool miniatures they bought and painted and wonderful scenery. All of which costs money, things that are not cheap. So, the solution is simple, sell to satisfy the need. Get rid of something you don't use for something you will use or appreciate. my wife and I are not rich, we do well enough and pay our bills and I feel live reasonable. Can there always be more and better? Yes, but I think anyone can say that. Perhaps I am just a kid at heart still trying to figure out how to overcome the jealous kid complex, while I watch others rack up credit cards on thousands of dollars in pledges to Kickstarters, I have to just be happy with what I can. To a point, I am good with that....I have always learned to make do with whatever is in front of me and I appreciate it.
Does any of this babble make sense? What are your thoughts? I should be more upfront if anything with my wife, I know she doesn't see the value I do in the hobby. A $100 spent on a game item would make her go what the hell. To me it is an investment in enjoyment and helps keep me stable/grounded. Gaming is something that helped me in my youth, it matured me, it taught me reasoning, it taught me how to make friends, to read and expand my vocabulary, it taught me history and it gave me a spot to hide from the cruel world at times when you needed to step away from reality to save your sanity. I am sure many can say the same thing and understand my meaning. I welcome your insight!
I did this recently so can sympathise with how your feeling. I sold all my spare leadpile that didn't belong to my main three projects or stuff that I bought that now doesn't fit in.
ReplyDeleteI simple explained to my partner what I was doing and why. I just said I want to get in on the EotD Kickstarter and that I would be selling all this stuff to do it. Louise was a bit shocked at first because I was spending £200+ on models in one go but when I sold stuff to make up the money she wasn't bothered.
Just be open an up front about it.
Good points, I think part of it is in the past I did little dips here and there. Now she hears I sell something and got over $250 to buy stuff and she thinks that I am greedy and selfish. On the flip side, I am trying to avoid tapping our finances so we can go on trips, save money, buy stuff for us and pay our bills. Everything in our paychecks is for us and our life. I will work to make things more public.
DeleteA friend of mine does this all the time. He buys into something, it doesn't pan out for him, or he gets more interested in something else, so he sells off a lot of stuff, it goes into the Paypal account which he uses just for hobby, and that's the fund for new stuff. From something you said I do get the feeling you don't give your wife grief when she buys something she wants that is just bc she wants it, so I'd imagine she'll understand you have the same need. She might think 'what the hell?' about something you want to buy, bc she doesn't see value or interest in it, but that doesn't mean she won't be able to understand that you see value and interest in it. And put in that context I'm sure she'll understand it, at least in theory even if she can't share the specific feeling and the specific items. My girlfriend/fiancee (whatever term prefer) enjoys mocking me saying 'of course, bc you want a million minis' to which I reply 'well, yeah' like it's impossible to imagine anyone wouldn't. Anyway, if you're not breaking the bank just remind her that everyone needs a hobby and special interest that brings them joy, and yours, like everyone else's, isn't often free, but being a human, you have the same need.
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of being a pack rat,been gaming since I was 13 so I have tons of gaming stuff and toys. So selling of something is chipping ice off the north pole if you will. Again, some good thoughts...
DeleteHey Styx, We seem to have alot in common. I probably could have wrote your post almost word for word. One of the things I love about my wife is she is able to ground me as I'm a bit impulsive and tend to dive into things. I too, tend to use what I have to gather monies for new projects or do trades on B-Town. But I have found discussing this and all things with your other half keeps things balanced and me in check.
ReplyDeleteThe point I am trying to get across is keep your wife in the loop. If she feels its something your keeping from her it won't help the situation.
I have found sometimes (for me anyways) I had to send a few dollars from the hobby for other items, be it bills or whatever. But I found this was of a benefit. As my wife knew the time and effort I put into these tiny figures. But down the road she offered for me to get some new goodies outside the hobby trade route. Karma?? Who knows lol
Honesty (not saying that your not) is the best policy and open communication is the best way to go
Again good feedback and comments. Nice to know I am not alone in the sea of hobbies!
DeleteI think most of us are attracted by the new-and-shiny, and for the most part don't really need any of it. I know my backlog is way longer than I can probably tackle during my lifetime, but I always seem to want to buy more stuff. I think it's laudable that you are getting rid of older stuff to finance new items, and thus not cutting into family monies for it. I guess it's just about communication at that point.
ReplyDeleteSome of my friends always joked we would never die as long as we have mini's to paint! If that was the case, I am immortal already.
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