I think most of this situation is hitting me more and more now that I am back home and having time to recover and think about it instead of living in it. To be honest I have no Christmas spirit hardly and just thankful that my mother is alive. I find it depressing tomorrow is her 70th birthday and suck in a hospital with Xmas and New Years more than likely at the hospital or rehab. I call it a mixed blessing if anything.
Still, one has to put a foot forward and continue onwards! There is little choice for someone like me.